Sapphyre Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 I'm slightly obsessed with TFLN. http://textsfromlastnight.com For those of you who haven't heard about this amazing site, basically you can go on there and submit the random, funny, perverted, etc. texts that you send or receive. I've submitted at least 20-30 texts and not a single one of them has been published. So! I figure we should start our own TFLN thread. Post up the random messages you get daily! (919): Is it wrong that I'm more concerned about how long it'll take for me to heal so that I can give head again, than I about the actual surgery itself? At least I get vicodin in the meantime. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpeedDemon Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 :is my poop supposed to be this color? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
s_adbell Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 lol, i havent been on this site for months. good stuff. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrIaN EG2 Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 (323): Would you feel weird if I asked out ___? (310): You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend? (323): So...no?` i love this one.. its been on my buddy info for a while, lol! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lceah Posted March 9, 2010 Share Posted March 9, 2010 LOL yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway... I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphyre Posted March 9, 2010 Author Share Posted March 9, 2010 I'm talking about the ones in your personal phone. hehe. C'mon- there's no better way to find out someone's deepest darkest secrets than by the random text messages they keep. (919): Cold, wet, suit from practice earlier. I am currently hung like a scared baby turtle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTiS Posted September 19, 2010 Share Posted September 19, 2010 stubled accros this thread by accident and checked out the site. heres a few and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba" my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' I'm fracking your sister right now. You motherfracker She's next. So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the frack says getting married is awful? i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends? Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex". hows the party? ists fjcssing insceredle be there in 10 Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints. Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrIaN EG2 Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.' So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!.....yeah kinda akward hows the party? ists fjcssing insceredle be there in 10 these made me LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSOLMIO Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 I'm talking about the ones in your personal phone. hehe. C'mon- there's no better way to find out someone's deepest darkest secrets than by the random text messages they keep. (919): Cold, wet, suit from practice earlier. I am currently hung like a scared baby turtle. You mean the real stuff like when my wife texted and it read, "I've had a rough day at work, f---k dinner, be prepared to suck some clit when I get in the door and don't expect anything from me!"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diablo2dusk Posted September 20, 2010 Share Posted September 20, 2010 hmmmmm. interesting one oso.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphyre Posted September 20, 2010 Author Share Posted September 20, 2010 yep. that's exactly what I mean osol. I've read all of TFLN- I don't care about those ones. I'm talking about real, every day life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTiS Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 sadly i dont get any text like that. my phone is literally dead. noone calls or texts much. not even a freakin car dealer who i left a message for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSOLMIO Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 yep. that's exactly what I mean osol. I've read all of TFLN- I don't care about those ones. I'm talking about real, every day life. That was a real one. You know how often I hope she has a bad day at work? Daily. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSOLMIO Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 sadly i dont get any text like that. my phone is literally dead. noone calls or texts much. not even a freakin car dealer who i left a message for. Don't be so sad..it can put a lot of performance pressure on a guy, at least the first time. If it is texts you want you can go down to the closest bar and put your number on the walls. Security busted a guy for going into the women's restroom at a place I used to work..well it was General Electric Aviation. They caught him writing on the walls how good a f---k he was, it was when he signed it "a satisfied woman" that was when we all thought it was pretty pathetic, but if he got results it might work. Anyway, he was so disgraced he quit. Post it on the internet like Craigslist if it is still accepting adult ads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTiS Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 Don't be so sad..it can put a lot of performance pressure on a guy, at least the first time. If it is texts you want you can go down to the closest bar and put your number on the walls. Security busted a guy for going into the women's restroom at a place I used to work..well it was General Electric Aviation. They caught him writing on the walls how good a f---k he was, it was when he signed it "a satisfied woman" that was when we all thought it was pretty pathetic, but if he got results it might work. Anyway, he was so disgraced he quit. Post it on the internet like Craigslist if it is still accepting adult ads. LMFAO i dont wanna do that. i want the missus to send me dirty text messages. if i could get a dirty one like you posted when she was havin a bad day id be gettin one every day lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airjordan223 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 PM me your number Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTiS Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 PM me your number i dont want dirty text from you colter lol. and youd probably make a cl ad sayin it was a tranny or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airjordan223 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 nooooooooooooooooo i woudnt do that. but it is fun taking someones number who you dont like and putting it in the male for male craigslist add..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OTiS Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 nooooooooooooooooo i woudnt do that. but it is fun taking someones number who you dont like and putting it in the male for male craigslist add..... is that what you were planning to do??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
airjordan223 Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 no but i may or may not have been a participant in a similar situation in the past Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OSOLMIO Posted September 21, 2010 Share Posted September 21, 2010 LMFAO i dont wanna do that. i want the missus to send me dirty text messages. if i could get a dirty one like you posted when she was havin a bad day id be gettin one every day lol Have you tried paying her??? Now I fork over big bucks to hear her say , "oooohhhh, it's so big"....well it beat having to hear her say.."tell me when you're in so I know when to start moaning". Yeh, when I met her she was like that, so we both went to the STD clinic because I thought someone that nasty has to be dicey in that area. But then maybe I just got to her at a good time in her life because she always says, "eeewww I've never done that before" but it really does not sound too sincere. Yeh, every day is a bad day for them going to work. I have to hear it when she gets up to when she falls asleep. She is the corporate asset manager in international sales and marketing for one of the biggest corporations in the world and they pay her way more than she is worth...hmmmm, maybe she is working under the desk more than at the desk. Maybe that is ass manager not asset manager on her business card, I better double check that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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