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Definition of Rice


wannaBstuntin

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I'm writing a computer program which will go through a series of questions with the user to determine if the user's car is considered rice.

 

It will work similar to a poll (yes/no), in that the user answers a number of questions, which all determine "how" ricey the car is at the end (say maybe a scale of 0-10 with a comment for each level).

 

The first question will obviously be "Is your car completely stock?" If the answer is yes, the program will stop there with a rating of 0. If the answer is no, then more questions will be asked.

 

I'd appreciate it if you guys could give me some questions to ask, or even ratings to give (humor welcomed). The more the better. Thanks guys!

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Rice = Billy.

 

--

 

Here are a few...

 

01. Does your vehicle have clear taillights?

02. Do you enjoy the look of neon light bars?

03. Do your neon light bars pulse to your music?

04. Does your sound system add up to more weight then your cars stock horsepower numbers?

05. Does the "fw" in "fwhp" stand for fly wheel?

06. Do decals make or break your cars look?

07. Does your spoiler double as a sporting event seat?

08. Do you live by "if it ain't a Type-R then it ain't a tight car"?

09. Did you attempt to make your automatic shifter look life a manual?

10. Do you refer to nitrous as "NAWZZZZ!"?

11. CO2 purges are great, because you get all the show and none of the go! Right?

12. My exhaust tip diameter is the same as my gapped butthead; 5".

13. Who needs a catback when they make universal mufflers with silencers?

14. I learned everything from The Fast and the Furious, but now I am all about Tokyo Drift style!

15. I fully believe that the car Brian O'Connor drove in 2 Fast 2 Furious is a Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution.

16. My car wouldn't be hot without my body kit.

17. Chicks dig me, because my doors open like a Lamborghini.

18. I still listen to Ja Rule - Furious when I cruise the town.

19. I tried overnighting parts from Japan.

20. Do you have aftermarket wheels on a stock ride height vehicle? (*cough Billy cough*)

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Definition of R.I.C.E

 

Race Inspired Cosmetic Enhancements. (R.I.C.E.) Parts put on cars to make them look fast, when they have no internal tuning, and are actually slow as hell. Parts usually consist of excessivley angular bodykits, large rear spoilers, neon, sponsor stickers, chrome rims, fake "coffee can" exhaust tips, and loud, annoying paint jobs and/or vinyls. Sometimes parts are do-it-yourself installed and are basically duct taped to the car. Most commonly known for being done to Honda Civics, but can also be done to slow domestic vehicles, such as a Chevy Cavalier, etc.

 

"Yo dog, did you see the Civic that guy was rollin' in? it was so rice."

 

"This guy's got nothin' under the hood, it's just rice. Smoke him."

 

"What a riceboy, I bet he thinks his neons add 50 bhp!"

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I know, rick. I've seen that numerous times, but I need questions to ask about a car to determine if its RICE.

 

This still helps...

Parts usually consist of excessivley angular bodykits, large rear spoilers, neon, sponsor stickers, chrome rims, fake "coffee can" exhaust tips, and loud, annoying paint jobs and/or vinyls.

 

"Do you have an excessively angular bodykit?"

"Do you have a large rear spoiler?"

etc...

 

You gots any others though?

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-knock off parts

-5" tachs with no purpose except for show

-air/fuel ratio gauges for stock motors as well as oil temp gauges

-rims larger than 17"

-colored windshield wipers (i know, i had blue ones. they brought out the color of my eyes, nuff said.)

-unnecessary scoops, vents

-led spray nozzles

-the exhaust insert that makes your car sound turbocharged

 

when i think of more, ill post

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anything that drastically alters the look of a vehicle without altering performance in a positive manner.

 

the only exclusion to this would be professional car show entrants. and no, any vehicle that is a DD will never be a show car worth two craps

 

 

 

great example: rim size is larger then engine displacement size: 1.5L vs 18's....

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-rims larger than 17"

I wouldn't go that far. Depending on what type of car it is. a 19" wheel may fit like a 15" wheel on a 1992-1995 Civic; perfect.

 

car audio is now considered rice? wow

The fact that people who modify their cars, but then hurt themselves by adding weight, that is rice to me.

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sound systems have nothing to do with what u yanks call rice. a sound system is for ur personal enjoyment to make a boring drive that much better, and because stock systems sound like crape.

 

Yanks?

 

I'd say the definition of rice is right there in your sig. :D

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a sound system is for ur personal enjoyment to make a boring drive that much better, and because stock systems sound like crape.

What I meant by that was if it's excessive (show quality), but you don't actually participate in shows.

:Points at self:

And no, I didn't say that was rice. It's in a different category, but it's still related.

 

btw, I think I'm deaf in my left ear now

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Ok guys, I've picked questions, but now I need any kind of funny ratings you can come up with on a scale of 1-10.

 

Right now it just prints out: "Your car is a level 3 ricer"

...or something along those lines

 

Anything more creative/funny would be greatly appreciated.:thumbsup:

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My idea...

 

LEVEL 01: Your car is stock, not rice, but nothing exciting.

 

LEVEL 02: The Typical Tuner

 

LEVEL 03: Tastefully Done

 

LEVEL 04: Unique

 

LEVEL 05: Whatchamacallit

 

LEVEL 06: You can handle two of the big bottles of NAWZ!

 

LEVEL 07: Uncle Ben's wasn't enough.

 

LEVEL 08: Add some rides and you could start a carnaval with all those colors.

 

LEVEL 09: Dominic Toretto, you claim to have a 10 second car on street tires and are played by an actor who can't drive stick.

 

LEVEL 10: Congratulations! You're car has been chosen for the next "unpimp your auto" Volkswagen commercial!

 

...something along those lines might work.

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