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You know when u are from Miami....


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You know you're from Miami when...


- you call flipflops chancletas

- you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE

- you can recognize a santero

- you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go

- the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light

- you reminisce about booty music and can still dance to it

- you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, merengue, bachata, or reggaeton at a party

- you buy your party food at Blue Sky

- you know what a caja china is

- you at least know the chorus to "Take it to da House"

- you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA

- you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish

- you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish

- you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning streak

- you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in case

-you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school

- you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach

- you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell outside...literally

- you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore

- you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back

- you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow them in your backyard

- you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?" cuz they barely can speak english

- you know how to drink a colada

- Hialeah is a world of its own

- you know your pastelitos

- you realize that most of Miami is a ghetto

- you know you have to be stupid or white to go to UM

- all you did in high school is study for the FCAT

- you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices

- you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere

- your ride is pimped out but your house is a crap hole

- you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm

- you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by ever 30 minutes

- it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a scarf, a hat, and boots

- you call Farm Stores La Vaquita

- you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4 am

- flooding is a valid excuse to miss work or school

- you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their houses

- you have a statue of Santa Barbara, San Lazaro, or La Caridad del Cobre in front of your house

- your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep

- you know the only hills are trash hills

- the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals

- you see three generations of women wearing baja y chupas (tube tops)

- you know that New Times has better news than the Miami Herald, even though it's free is half of it is strip club and escort ads

- you know any woman alking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is turning tricks

- you own a guayabera or know what one is

- you take your car to go one block down the street

- you buy mamoncillos while waiting in traffic

- a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey

- you see a sushi bar on every corner

- you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical

- your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some guy's trunk in Hialeah

- you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11

-you add an 'eh' to everything starting with 's'. ("eh-Sprite'', ''eh-stop", etc.)

-there's a navarro on every corner

- you have to put on the invitations starts at 2:30pm when the event really starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.

-when u can buy some flowers and churroz while waiting in a red light

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