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Ricer Wars are starting...


HONDA_SUCKS

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Hello Friends.

I have a domestic car, but have lots of friends with imports. One of my domestic friends made a poem, I think it's pretty funny. Before you start name calling, make a poem to get back at me.

 

This poem is told from your point of view.

 

 

T'was the night before Rice War'z and caught at the light,

was a big bad Ford Cobra and no cops in sight,

 

I will try, I will try, with my cute little motor,

To beat this bad Cobra with it's jumbo sized blower,

 

As the light goes green and I pull like no joke,

The Cobra erupts in blue tire smoke,

 

Now Smasher, now Rev-ver, now Stroker, now Blitzen,

These are the names of my four VTEC Pistons,

 

Racing ahead I'm the Star of the action,

But I know I'm in trouble when that Cobra gets Traction,

 

Slamming into second, I hear the RPM sing,

My mirror is blocked by the big Dragster wing,

 

I now hear the roar, of that 'Charged' monster gaining,

And all I can do is keep my four-banger straining,

 

In a second, the shockwave hits with a blast,

And my stickers go flying, a thing of the past,

 

Don't bother with third, cause now it's too late,

Just try to act cool , like you can relate,

 

Looking up at the taillights as they get smaller,

The driver backs off to give me a holler,

 

 

"You can't win them all," he says with a wink,

 

 

 

"You probably won't ever in that Fart-Canned thing"

 

 

I smiled and revved, he pulled out of sight......

With my new stickers tomorrow, there'll be another night.

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My name is dale hank

My car is heavier than a tank

 

I'm married to my sister

not my cousin, although I have kissed her

 

I like to pick on imports cause I think I have a huge weiner

My huge 6.0 litre engine makes up for my small prick

 

My crap is fast, my crap is badass

although by the time I get it to start up I have no cash

 

My bottle of coke has more litres than your honda

even my wife/sister drives a trans-am, her name is mary-sue-ronda

 

even if that civic takes me with my bigass mustang

it had more mods, plus that kid didn't even have a mullet, man

 

I know my car cost more than my "house"

but its hard to afford a double wide when while your working, your wife is f*cking someone else.

 

But thats okay, I still love her

because after all she is my brothers mother

 

She tires to say sorry, but I say, "crap up bitch, can't you see Dale Jr. is winning?"

then I smack her in the tooth with my bottle of moonshine, till her head goes spinning.

 

My name is dale hank, I kill deer with a huge gun

just like beating my wife, raping my daughter, and rev'n up in front of civics....its FUN.

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She tires to say sorry, but I say, "crap up bitch, can't you see Dale Jr. is winning?"

then I smack her in the tooth with my bottle of moonshine, till her head goes spinning.

:laugh:

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  • 3 weeks later...
My name is dale hank

My car is heavier than a tank

 

I'm married to my sister

not my cousin, although I have kissed her

 

I like to pick on imports cause I think I have a huge weiner

My huge 6.0 litre engine makes up for my small prick

 

My crap is fast, my crap is badass

although by the time I get it to start up I have no cash

 

My bottle of coke has more litres than your honda

even my wife/sister drives a trans-am, her name is mary-sue-ronda

 

even if that civic takes me with my bigass mustang

it had more mods, plus that kid didn't even have a mullet, man

 

I know my car cost more than my "house"

but its hard to afford a double wide when while your working, your wife is f*cking someone else.

 

But thats okay, I still love her

because after all she is my brothers mother

 

She tires to say sorry, but I say, "crap up bitch, can't you see Dale Jr. is winning?"

then I smack her in the tooth with my bottle of moonshine, till her head goes spinning.

 

My name is dale hank, I kill deer with a huge gun

just like beating my wife, raping my daughter, and rev'n up in front of civics....its FUN.

LOL that was some funny crap. I would could have been offended... but live in Chicago, was born in Europe, listen to Trance, and personally hate rednecks cause they scare me. But that poem was funny as hell. Your stereotyping is at the same level as the redneck who does his sister.

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i thought it was tight... and i'm glad you got VTEC right.. alot of guys on here still get it wrong. i have raced 2 cobras a '97 and a '99 and beat them both 3+ times

I had lots of fun with a Prelude. I loved the look on a guy's face in a Camaro when I beat him... He had his gf in the passanger seat too. I lovd when the VTEC engaged, but had to get rid of the car...

 

Preludes are awesome cars. In fact, it would be the only Honda I would want.

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