VegasDriver Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 December 8, 2005 "Man steals van minutes after release from jail" Associated Press JUNEAU, Alaska- It was only a small taste of freedom. David Mulligan, 21, of Sitka, served 25 days in jail for drunken driving, and was released at 7 am Tuesday. Authorities say he stole a van three minutes later. Police said a man who lives a block from the Lemon Creek Correctional Center had left his 1997 Dodge van running to warm up when he went inside the house. It was gone when he came out! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Lincoln, Nebraska A would-be pharmacy robber ran off when a pharmacist called him by name and asked whether the robbery was a joke, authorities said. A man wearing a sweat shirt and sunglasses approached the counter of a Hinky Dinky Pharmacy about 7:30 am Monday. He told the pharmacists that he was going to rob them but did not show a weapon. The pharmacist recognized the man's voice because he was a previous customer, police officer Katherine Finnell said. The man spun around and ran out the store, then boarded a city bus. Mitchell Kruse, 44, was arrested and charged with attempted robbery, Finnell said Tuesday. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- and five more... 1. When his .38-calibre revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked... 2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved... 3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his Vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her. 4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days. 5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. 6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cashdrawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer ...$15. (If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?) 7. A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled: "FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A **** UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The security guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large. In memory of the event, the banker later put a plaque on the wall engraved with the words, "Freeze, mother-stickers, this is a ****-up!" 8. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of polycarbonate. The whole event was caught on videotape. 9. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." 10. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER! When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humphries Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 sucks.. just going to jail is stupid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TLontheDL Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 oh man those are great!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CivicGirl Posted December 12, 2005 Share Posted December 12, 2005 Very funny! I needed a good laugh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humphries Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 i read them all... haha he ate some dookie..!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sup Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 hahaha, #10 is my favorite. Sounds like something that would happen on the simpsons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted December 13, 2005 Share Posted December 13, 2005 We in Florida had a guy go into a bank and rob it. The funny part is there was a cop sitting out front when he walked in, and the same cop got him on his way out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VegasDriver Posted December 16, 2005 Author Share Posted December 16, 2005 December 15, 05 Associated Press "Car Thieves Leave Photos of Themselves" REDLANDS, Calif. - Police say they had a lot of help nabbing a pair of car theft suspects-from the suspects themselves. The men left behind not only fingerprints, but also photos of themselves inside and outside the stolen 2001 Ford Mustang, police said. The photos were taken with a disposable camera the suspects found in the Mustang. They left it behind when they abandoned the car. "These are not the brightest people" said Carl Baker, a Redlands police spokesman. The evidence led police Friday to the Redlands home of Albert Engelsman, 28. Police say he was wearing the same shirt he had on the photos. An arrest warrant has also been issued for his alleged accomplice, Matthew Montanez, 22, or Rialto, Baker said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted December 16, 2005 Share Posted December 16, 2005 How dumb can you be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Humphries Posted December 17, 2005 Share Posted December 17, 2005 i dunno how dumb can you be? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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