Kids point of view...

[Dragongyrl18]

NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm

>summer evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood

>up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the

>shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom!

>That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

>

>HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to

>tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished

>it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking

>for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my

>toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile,

>"We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the

>toilet a few days ago."

>

>OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his

>teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions

>expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his

>parents."

>

>KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out

>of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her

>4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister,

>Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added , "Mommy

>can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting

>the bottle."

>

>MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself

>in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst

>into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover.

>The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the

>matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

>

>ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches

>to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on

>my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age,

>particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly

>intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false

>teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable

>barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The

>tooth fairy will never believe this!"

>

>DRESS- UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a

>party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned,

>"Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?"

>"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

>

>DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church,

>our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his

>collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates

>had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be

>performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then

>dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The

>minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayer s and

>with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought

>his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto

>the Sonnn ... and into the hole he gooooes."

>

>SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school.

>"I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't

>read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"

>

>BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was

>fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly,

>something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and

>looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed

>in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called

>out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the

>young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"

>

>