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Humbug


..SSR..

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I'm feeling kind of humbuggy. I've actually felt that way the past 3 years since my ex dumped me.

 

No, its not that. I'm over her.

 

Anywho, ever since that happened (twas in November) Christmas just hasn't been as fun as it was before.

 

I'm not really sure why.

 

Ponder with me.

 

-The crapty'ness I felt at that time gave me a permanent Christmas buzz kill for life, even though I'm not bothered by those feelings anymore.

 

-Family drama (not involving me) causes this. Yes, there is a ton of it (parents vs sister).

 

-A sort of continuation of the above maybe. My thoughts on how my childhood Christmas's were, and seeing that its not the same for my niece and nephew.

 

-Just a natural part of growing up.

 

-Wishing that Ashley was here with me to do all the Christmas stuff.

 

-A whole slew of crap thats bugging and has been bugging me has culminated into a great ball of inner-animosity-towards-anyone-happier-than-me and being the almost perfect example of emotionally introverted, it is my way of dealing with the said great ball by felling humbug'ish.

 

Discuss.

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dude, ive been humbuggy for the past 5 years.

 

the rents kicked me out 2 days before xmas when i was 17. i overdosed on meth not long after xmas, and every year afterwards something bad always happened.

 

xmas as a kid is always more fun because they are the center of attention. as an adult, youre more in the background.

 

good god, youre seriously obsessed with ashley.

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If I tried to register my car in Cali that would send me straight to jail.

 

I was just in Vegas a month ago, but I could use another vacation. Working probably 85% of the time I'm awake is starting to beat me down.

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dude, ive been humbuggy for the past 5 years.

 

the rents kicked me out 2 days before xmas when i was 17. i overdosed on meth not long after xmas, and every year afterwards something bad always happened.

 

xmas as a kid is always more fun because they are the center of attention. as an adult, youre more in the background.

 

good god, youre more obsessed with ashley than i am. and i moved to ny.

that not that bad.

 

a few years ago i went to a christmas party where i think someone slipped me a roofie, woke up in a strange apartment in point loma with 3 other asian girls passed out around me, chocolate chips scattered everywhere and a costco sized case of cup of noodles next to me. i still cant figure out wtf happened.

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Tell me you at least ate the chocolate chips.

lolz, no. i dont know what they were used for. once i came to, i got the hell out of there. i did take like $63 dollars out of one of the asian girls pants for a taxi, though.

 

i was super pissed off, i didnt know what happened. when i went back to where the party was to get my car i went back and the apartment ended up belonging to a good friend of one of my friends. i guess she was there before i woke up, she went out to get coffee and stuff. so i was happy nothing was shoved up my ass then inserted into my mouth.

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About the last thing you just said, are you sure they were chocolate chips?

 

Maybe I just need to go Christmas shopping. Take a day off work and spend the whole day shopping, then wrap everything the same night.

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nancy, thats why you should hang out with me. id look out for you like that

 

Yeah, if Nancy hung out with Rick, the same thing would happen... but Rick would at least tell you what he was doing.

 

 

Just playing. In reality it seems as if Rick would just want to cuddle while Nancy watched some porn. LOL. Love you both. :blush:

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Yeah, if Nancy hung out with Rick, the same thing would happen... but Rick would at least tell you what he was doing.

 

 

Just playing. In reality it seems as if Rick would just want to cuddle while Nancy watched some porn. LOL. Love you both. :blush:

 

 

i would at least have the courtesy to let you know whats goin on nancy. i dont change lanes without signaling.:thumbsup:

 

i also cook too. and if there is porn goin on....cuddle? heh.

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lol this is why i love this site. so much entertainment. anyways sorry ssr. hope you feel better. maybe it is cuz your getting older. i think theres just too much stress around christmas time. the shopping, wrapping, trying to find out what everybody wants, trying to find the better deal on the same thing, and ontop of all that the normal bills and work.

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christmas around here isnt christmas without family drama :laugh:

 

it could be all of what you said though

 

and as you get older i think holidays dont matter as much.. i get kinda excited about buying stuff and wrapping it and giving the presents to people but i always make sure i put thought into my gifts instead of just picking something.. and i get dissapointed cause i either already know about my presents or there wasnt any thought put into them

 

like i picked out most of the clothes my mom got me for christmas.. hell i was there when she bought them and shes holding them hostage.. and i know shes gettin me a new camara cause i tore mine up.. and i helped pick out which one im getting.. and my sister normally just goes in a store and picks something and my now ex was with me the past 2 christmas's and well for the first one he got me ring.. which turned out didnt mean a thing and i wore it like twice.. and the second one he got me cold air for the sol and gears for my firebird which turned out that if i would have put them in it would have made noise.. so they didnt go in

 

a day shopping is fun most of the time as long as there are not 2010973509 crazy shoppers.. that might help put you in the christmas mood

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christmas around here isnt christmas without family drama :laugh:

 

it could be all of what you said though

 

and as you get older i think holidays dont matter as much.. i get kinda excited about buying stuff and wrapping it and giving the presents to people but i always make sure i put thought into my gifts instead of just picking something.. and i get dissapointed cause i either already know about my presents or there wasnt any thought put into them

 

like i picked out most of the clothes my mom got me for christmas.. hell i was there when she bought them and shes holding them hostage.. and i know shes gettin me a new camara cause i tore mine up.. and i helped pick out which one im getting.. and my sister normally just goes in a store and picks something and my now ex was with me the past 2 christmas's and well for the first one he got me ring.. which turned out didnt mean a thing and i wore it like twice.. and the second one he got me cold air for the sol and gears for my firebird which turned out that if i would have put them in it would have made noise.. so they didnt go in

 

a day shopping is fun most of the time as long as there are not 2010973509 crazy shoppers.. that might help put you in the christmas mood

So...what are you getting me this year?

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bah, i've been feeling the same way since i finished the 3rd grade... emotionally introverted and just plain grumpy. i hide it well, but i'm usually really pissed off behind closed doors

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-A sort of continuation of the above maybe. My thoughts on how my childhood Christmas's were, and seeing that its not the same for my niece and nephew.

 

-Just a natural part of growing up.

 

-Wishing that Ashley was here with me to do all the Christmas stuff.

 

1. I know how it is to watch your nieces/nephews get less than they deserve. Therefore, I do my best to spoil them whenever I can. When it comes to Christmas, my mom and I make sure that we do what we can to ensure that they have a really good Christmas like what my siblings and I had (hell, I think they end up making out better than even we did, lol).

 

2. Growing up sucks. It sounds like a lot of it could be that you're working so much. I know that's how it is with me. Last year, I wasn't as into it, at first, because it was weird with it being the first Christmas being single in years. It really does make a difference, surprisingly, but when Christmas Eve/Christmas Day rolled around and I didn't have to worry about splitting it between places/families or fighting over it, it was amazing lol. Anyway, this year, since I'm working non-stop (while I can), it doesn't even seem like December yet to me. I'm 95% done with my shopping already, I wrapped every present that's here right now, and started on my baking tonight... but it still doesn't feel like it :laugh:

 

3. Yes, yes.

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We should seriously get married. With both our work ethics we'd never be around each other long enough to ever get into a fight.

 

lol, true story

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My sister just came in and read your last reply to delsolsweetie. She asked who you were and I said a mod, she asked where you're from, etc. She said I should hookup with you lol.

 

The thing about my niece and nephew isn't so much tangible stuff, but emotional. My sister is going through a divorce right now and has moved back in (again). She is also a recovering from a drug addiction (pills). Not knowing about her addiction my parents have helped her and her (ex)husband out well over 30k over the past year and a half. Recently she stole over $1,500 from them by forging checks to pay off drug dealers so she can be totally free from it (good intentions, but bad move). She hasn't been able to hold a job (always has drama with a co-worker) so she is way behind on bills (over 25k in debt herself). My mom has taken a second job to make both her and my parents bill payments, so she is now working over 80 hours a week. This leads to constant arguing between her (sister) and my dad. My nephew heard a lot of it (I get him out of the house now) and started drawing pictures at school of himself dying. The school psych told my mom this probably means he doesn't feel safe in his safe place (my house) anymore. My sister can go from sweet with them one minute to short, and compared to how my mom was with us, it seems like she never spends any time with them. Being that they are always move in and out of here I want them to have as good of a Christmas as they can, as I would hate for them to feel like I do right now (though my niece is only 1-1/2). They should be so excited that they can barely sleep.

 

That was a little long and probably a little more detailed than need be, but the keyboard therapy felt good.

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My sister just came in and read your last reply to delsolsweetie. She asked who you were and I said a mod, she asked where you're from, etc. She said I should hookup with you lol.

 

:laugh::wub:

 

The thing about my niece and nephew isn't so much tangible stuff, but emotional. My sister is going through a divorce right now and has moved back in (again). She is also a recovering from a drug addiction (pills). Not knowing about her addiction my parents have helped her and her (ex)husband out well over 30k over the past year and a half. Recently she stole over $1,500 from them by forging checks to pay off drug dealers so she can be totally free from it (good intentions, but bad move). She hasn't been able to hold a job (always has drama with a co-worker) so she is way behind on bills (over 25k in debt herself). My mom has taken a second job to make both her and my parents bill payments, so she is now working over 80 hours a week. This leads to constant arguing between her (sister) and my dad. My nephew heard a lot of it (I get him out of the house now) and started drawing pictures at school of himself dying. The school psych told my mom this probably means he doesn't feel safe in his safe place (my house) anymore. My sister can go from sweet with them one minute to short, and compared to how my mom was with us, it seems like she never spends any time with them. Being that they are always move in and out of here I want them to have as good of a Christmas as they can, as I would hate for them to feel like I do right now (though my niece is only 1-1/2). They should be so excited that they can barely sleep.

 

That was a little long and probably a little more detailed than need be, but the keyboard therapy felt good.

 

I'm sorry to hear it. I hope that your sister is serious about getting herself clean, and that that's what she actually wants to do (since the only way an addict really has a chance is if he/she is the one who wants to be clean). My mom's best friend is in a similar situation with her daughter(s), when it comes to the debt part and taking care of their bills. She also watches their kids all of the time, while her daughters are either at work or out doing whatever/whoever it is that they want.

 

How old is your nephew? It's great that you get him out of the negative environment. Obviously, he knows that something is going on, though. Maybe you could encourage him to take different directions with his artwork, allow himself the release it gives him, while taking steps to help alleviate some of his pain?

 

I also know what you mean about a parent not spending enough time with his/her child. Seriously, the majority of parents these days should have either never been allowed to have children, or should get a swift kick to the head to knock some sense into them. People are much too selfish these days, and it's creating a new generation of neglected children.

 

I can relate to them moving in/out as well, seeing how my brother and his family have moved in and out various times over the past 8 years (while being in between places a few times, while saving money to buy a house - which they never ended up buying, then the last time his fiance and their kids moved in here for a few months while he moved to Florida. he ended up coming back just as they were supposed to be moving down, after my niece finished the school year.)

 

Anyway, to keep it short... as I said, I truly hope your sister gets everything together and works to improve her life for the sake of improving her children's lives. I wish the best for your nephew, and hope that things can be "normal" for your niece since she's fast-approaching the days when she'll be able to better express her emotions.

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He's 6-1/2. I use to draw all the time so I busted out my old portfolio and showed him all of my stuff. I have a book from when I was his age that shows younger kids how to take a simple approach at drawing things (Ed Emberleys Book of Drawing iirc) so he is trying to mimic some stuff I did based off that book. Funny part is its a extremely complex "world" that I drew at around 13 or 14. Goes from city to town to country covering an entire page. Should be entertaining to see how his turns out.

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